Committing To Your Self

Today, I am declaring my independence from false beliefs, from things I've valued that are value-less. Independence. Independent. Independable. Is that even a word? Merriam-Webster says no, but I think it should be. A Course 1Y0-A16 practice exam in Miracles (Chapter 25, Section VII, paragraph 10) says: "what is dependable except God's love? It is God's will that you remember this, and so emerge from deepest mourning into perfect joy." I would define "independable" as "the indwelling nature of God's love." One nation, independable... imagine it, if you will. One world, independable. Each of us so firmly aware of the Divine's infinite love for us that we always feel loved and supported and empowered and lifted and held.
I am declaring my independence from old beliefs that have tried to create an illusion of dependability on outer things, the story of "how" things should be, the form they "should" take and so on. I am willing to see everything rightly today. I am willing to see the Truth.
My ego wants to project everything "out there" - to make the healing process about another, instead of myself. "If only "they" would get it, if only "they" would change, then my illusions would be safe. That's what we're really saying, isn't it? From this place, it's easy to understand what it means when A Course In Miracles says "in my defenselessness, my safety lies." When I remember there is nothing to defend because there is nothing to lose, I can move forward with loving kindness for myself; I can be still and quiet, forgiving myself for any misperception that I can lose, be attacked, be withheld from, be 1Y0-A17 practice exam judged. All of it can disappear in that holy instant.
I wonder if this is the Truth my friend Robert, a devout Quaker, knew in that moment of attack when he was assaulted by two young Irishmen and left for dead. He never even raised his hands to cover his head. In his defenselessness his safety was contained. He was not afraid of losing his life, because he realized that nothing about his life, the true life within him, could be taken.
Several dear friends departed this world in the past year in abrupt ways. One was a longtime friend, in her early 60's who disappeared in a boating accident. The second was an eight-year old girl who lived life more fully than anyone I've ever known. And Robert? Robert carries on, traveling through life in his wheelchair. This month marks the 11th anniversary of his assault. I will add "what would Robert do?" to the mantra I have created of "what would Daria do?, What would Andrea do?" They are a holy trinity for me: strong examples of living big, living wholly and living gracefully.
I am so blessed to have had friends like these in my life. And so I offer this prayer for myself and for you:
Holy Spirit, shine on me today that I may remember who I am -that my brother and I are one in you. Help me remember there is nothing that needs to be defended, because nothing other than love exists. Help me see the E20-500 cry for love in others, instead of feeling attacked, so I can respond from the most loving place within me, in that moment. So I may demonstrate that I am worthy of the friends who have gone before me. So they may have eternal life, living on through our legacy of love.